Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Book 154: The Parent's Tao Te Ching by William Martin

This poetic little book was a reminder to go back to basics with my children. The Parent's Tao Te Ching is not poetry as much as it is simple language and an interpretation of ancient lessons for the benefit of parents around the world. William Martin, a clergyman and counselor, took lessons from the ancient Tao Te Ching and put them into modern verse that parents can both understand and put to immediate good use.

Many lessons in the book were profound for me. Most dealt with befriending solitude, maintaining balance, and reducing the noise and distractions of everyday life so that kids can, quite simply, become who they were going to become in the first place. Parents who seek to control every aspect of their children's lives will fail; the Tao Te Ching tells us to set a good example for our children, help them appreciate simple things, provide for their safety, then let them go.

In particular, the verse below resonated with me, not because I am guilty of it, but because I know quite a few parents that stake their life's happiness on keeping their children busy and happy and run the risk of being empty vessels when their children are grown. I felt I should share it.

44. Find Your Own Meaning

If you look to your children to find meaning in your life, your life will be meaningless. If you need them to be successful to feel successful yourself, you will always fail. 

Your children were not born to complete your life. They were born to complete their own. When you look inside and discover that you have everything you need, you will find your freedom.

As long as you perceive that your life lacks something you are in danger of using your children to satisfy that lack. This is far too great a burden for them to bear. Are you looking to them when you need to be looking to yourself?

If you're a parent feeling out of balance, you may benefit from this book.

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