Wake Up by Molly Keogh (Guest Blogger)

Letter to self: Please read and heed. Heeding is the hard part.

Impermanence and reality really do matter. They both trip me up - they make me sad, nervous, angry and a host of other negatives.

Brain power brings logic to impermanence. Knowledge that from the cosmos to the tiniest microbe, change, dissolution and reconstitution abide. That’s logical and evident.

That’s good to know but not helpful when dealing with loss, hunger, fear, disappointment and pain. My brain loves to hold on, resist change, expect continuity and life. (Always life as it is right now on a very good day.)

So for me it’s a constant "wake up call."

Attachment blocks my brain from the reality that at any given moment all conditions necessary for happiness are present. I don’t want to miss that happiness, ever present and available.

Attachment to the past and the future as well as this crumbling body are major distractions for me.

My mind wants to grieve over past losses and pain or run ahead to some imaginary place. 

All the while missing this precious moment where:

Children are laughing

The air is warming

My love is near

The bunny in my backyard is munching on clover

My breath continues.

It’s really about '"mind control." Can I control my mind? Or is my mind in charge of my happiness by choosing unreality (past and future) over the present.

I don’t like being robbed of my moment of happiness. Why do I let it happen?

I think it’s as simple as a bad habit. It’s been what I have allowed for so long it has become a comfort zone even though it’s a habit which keeps me in constant discomfort.

For me the only way to change a habit is first to be aware of it, see it for what it is; just something I’ve gotten used to, a distraction which takes me away.

Second, is this something I want to carry on or would I benefit from being present for myself and others?

Oh, the pressure! Now I need a plan to change this habit which no longer works for me. A plan which involves thought and introspection can quickly become noxious.

This is going to require work and commitment.

“Maybe later,” says me to me.

So far the plan has come in spurts and sputters. There is hope and progress is evident, just not at lightning speed.

Here is some evidence:

Able to take a walk and just walk. Thoughts are connected to the present: feet touching the ground, breathing in and out, feel of air on skin, sound of birds, sound of leaves blowing in the breeze.

Able to drive the car and just drive. Thoughts go to my hands on the wheel, breathing in and out, surroundings, air temperature, traffic signs, lights.

Able to sit and watch the bunny munching on the clover. Just sitting and watching.

So that’s it for me right now. It relaxes me to just think about the process.

Peace is the reward, a little at a time. I’ll take it.

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This blog post was curated and/or edited by The Ardent Reader, Esther Hofknecht Curtis, BSOL, MSM-HCA. The views expressed in this blog post are those of the guest blogger. Visit www.parrotcontent.com for more information.