Book 177: I Hate Everyone Except You by Clinton Kelly

I like birds. I picked up this book because the cover had a bird on it. (That's true.) I kept reading this book because it was freaking hilarious. I laughed until Mr. Fussypants asked me to please stop, so he could hear his show. When I kept on, adapting my guffaws to Muttley-style huffing, he gave me the look. Luckily, I have insomnia due to some sort of throat ailment, so I finished it in private later on, chuckling quietly to myself in the den. 

Clinton Kelly was a co-host of What Not to Wear and is now on The Chew - two shows I never even heard of until I read this book. (Sorry, Clinton, but don't feel bad... I don't watch much TV.)  This book is a series of stories from his life, opinion pieces, and even a previously unpublished screenplay. He writes about his life as a co-host and talks about his working relationships, bitches about celebrities (Paula Deen, for one), and talks about his relationship with his family and his husband, Damon, who sounds like a saint.

Clinton Kelly is the king of snark. Every story from the theme park adventure as a child to the two hour forced commentary on salad was filled with wit and sarcasm that would give Joan Rivers a run for her money. Because I can visualize everything that happened in this book, I found it riotously funny.

I Hate Everyone, Except You was funny, but Kelly also injected a lot of truth about love and life into it. For example, the wishful-thinking "if I were president" piece in which Kelly says one of the first things he'd do is initiate a mandatory draft for food service - for everyone. As a former waitress, I could not agree more. I learned some of my most profound life lessons while serving others their food and drinks, and I often think some of the assholes I come across could do with a dose of humility that often comes along with the job.

I borrowed the digital copy of this book from the Delaware Library Catalog, but if you don't have access, you can buy it here.

I needed a good laugh, and this did it. Thanks, Clinton.