How Getting Sick Made Me Better by Nicole Duxbury (Guest Blogger)

It took five weeks, two hospitals, five doctors and an army of nurses to get me to a point where I could return home, but even then, “normal” was never going to be found, at least not what we had known as normal prior to August 19th, 2011.

I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, which meant my immune system was attacking my body. The first diagnoses was Ulcerative Colitis, which soon brought Enteropathic Arthritis and Chronic Fatigue to the party.

The diagnoses themselves are merely tags one can use to identify SOME of the problems. The reality is that having an autoimmune disorder creates multiple problems which aren’t given a specific condition to name them. Taking responsibility, you change your lifestyle, down medications as prescribed, seek natural remedies, and find yourself in constant “adjustment mode” to adapt to the changes these conditions require.

This brings me to the purpose of this article: change. I could easily dwell on the fact that my life has consisted of some heavy burdens since these illnesses took up residence in my body. I could ponder the “What ifs?” and I could mourn the lost abilities and freedoms. I could even be angry and bitter about my new “normal.” Instead, I seek the positive perspective of how these illnesses have made me a better person.

Change Is Good

What changes have come from this journey? Here are some of the positive differences I see.

Compassion

No longer do I assume someone is “healthy and well” just because they look it. I have greater compassion for everyone, but especially those facing invisible illnesses. I don’t make assumptions and never presume someone else is “better off than me.”

Modesty

I used to be the first to put my hand up and offer assistance to anyone. I was proud of my helpful nature, but it was also stretching me too thin. I have had to learn to be more modest about my abilities.

I was not caring for my family or myself as much as I should have, as much as I wanted to, because I was giving too much of myself to everyone else. Now, I know I have a very limited reserve and must be careful about how I expend it. That doesn’t mean I don’t help others, it just means I monitor HOW MUCH I offer. I set boundaries and say, “I can help you pack for an hour tomorrow if you’d like,” instead of going all in for the whole day, draining myself of the needed energy for my own responsibilities. I get the pleasure of helping and know the receivers understand I love them and want to help, but I don’t suffer for it later.

Focus

Keen focus is another thing that has developed within me. I used to have a million things going at once. I don’t have the capacity for that anymore! I have to be sensible and methodical about where I put my focus. The unexpected byproduct of this is that I determine what I’m going to give my time and attention to, limiting it to specific areas, and giving those things my best, rather than sporadic attention as/when available.

Humility

Ask anyone who has ever known me and they’ll tell you I’m stubborn and independent. This has proven to be a huge challenge when it comes to accepting the limitations my illnesses have slapped onto my body. I have had to learn to accept help from others and even be prepared to ASK FOR IT. I still have a tendency to be headstrong, but I have recognized my limitations and accepted them, which means allowing others to do things that make life a little easier for me.

I Am Better

It has taken several years to grow into this “New Me” with a now-positive outlook on chronic health conditions. I went through the phases of shock, hopeful denial, acceptance, relief, fear, frustration and even a deep depression during those years. However, that process has definitely made me a better person.

In some ways, I had to let go of the old me before I could embrace the new one. As stated above, these new perspectives have led to improvements in my inner self, overflowing into benefits with how I handle my family and business. Many may be obvious to some, though for me, these were tough lessons I wish I had learned much earlier in life. These challenges of life will knock us down, but they also mould us into better versions of ourselves if we let them.

Nicole is a freelance writer and marketing consultant.  Although she was born and raised in Kansas, USA, she has lived in New Zealand since 2003. In 2017, she founded Chronic Content, a writing and marketing business that allows her to work from home, for clients all over the globe. She enjoys helping businesses find their written voice and implement it with successful marketing.

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This blog post was curated and/or edited by The Ardent Reader, Esther Hofknecht Curtis, BSOL, MSM-HCA. The views expressed in this blog post are those of the guest blogger. Visit www.parrotcontent.com for more information.