No more. No more. No more.

In my box of treasured possessions there is a card from a woman I will surely never meet: the mother of Olivia Engel, who was a six-year-old student killed in the Sandy Hook massacre in 2012.

As a parent, Sandy Hook was the worst mass shooting tragedy I could have imagined. After the dust settled, I sent letters to every family that lost loved ones at Sandy Hook, and the school's administrators graciously delivered them to the families. I told them they were not alone in their grief. I never expected a response, but Olivia's mother sent a card with a photo of her beloved daughter, smiling, in a beautiful dress on a sunny day. It was weeks - maybe months - after the shootings so it took a minute before I realized what I had in my hand. Then I cried.  

One month ago, a dude with a lot of guns killed 58 people in Las Vegas, then he killed himself. Last week another dude entered a Wal-Mart in Denver and started shooting, killing three people. Then, yesterday, Nov. 5, yet another dude entered a Texas church and killed 26 people and wounded a lot more, then he killed himself. 

Yesterday, when I saw another mass shooting appear in my AP news alerts, I was not shocked. In fact, it barely registered, emotionally speaking. A full 24 hours later, it hit me: 26 people died in the Sandy Hook shootings in 2012, and 26 people died in the Sutherland Springs shootings five years later. To the second, I had almost no emotional reaction. I got a chill down the side of my face as this realization took hold.

And then I got mad. 

I got mad because although mass shootings are outrageous to me, my mind has been confronted with so many of these tragedies it believes they are part of normal everyday life. It's simple behavioral science: we cannot continue to be exposed to the same stimuli over and over again for years on end and expect to have equal reactions every time. I am not okay with this. I am ashamed. 

I got mad because all life is precious, and each life lost to these stupid losers and their stupid guns is a waste. 

I got mad because when I go to any public gathering, I find myself checking the rafters and making sure I know the closest exits and best hiding places. I am tired of feeling powerless to do anything to protect my family and myself. I feel like a sitting duck.

I got mad because we have state representatives, senators, and presidents that moan about gun policy and never do anything worth mentioning to reduce the number of automatic weapons in our communities. We can't even write and call our representatives to make a difference, because half of them get campaign contributions from the NRA, which, by the way, still doesn't pay any taxes because it's a nonprofit. 

I got mad because we - YES, WE - have allowed this one sentence written more than 200 years ago: a well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed, to mean a bunch of freaking psychos can buy unlimited numbers of automatic weapons and stockpile ammunition for these literal WAR MACHINES right in our communities. There is no other purpose for an automatic weapon but to kill as many people as possible, as quickly as possible. 

I got mad because it seems like we as a country never learn. It has been FIVE YEARS since the Sandy Hook shooting, the death of Olivia Engel, 19 other elementary school kids, and six teachers and NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Heaven knows what kind of death could have been prevented had we done something, anything, about gun control 18 YEARS AGO after the Columbine High School shooting. 

Then I got mad because realized I have already forgotten so many tragedies and victims. This is a listing of all of the U.S. mass shootings since 1982 and number of fatalities compiled by Mother Jones and updated every five minutes. Like me, I'll bet you've never heard of most of these or, if you have, you've forgotten them already. Hopefully it will get your blood boiling again. Seeing it like this makes me sick. 

Finally, I got mad because I realized a lot of Americans - including those we've chosen to represent our interests in Washington, D.C. - care more about the right to bear arms than they do about our right to life.

We need to do something, and we need to do it now, because this problem is not going away. 

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