Geneology by David "Bud" Wisor (Guest Post)

David "Bud" Wisor

I have been interested in genealogy for as long as I can remember.

When I was growing up, although genealogy was fulfilling, it was certainly drudgery. It involved face to face conversations with some of your oldest known relatives, asking them what they remembered about their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. When those were interviews were finished, you would head to cemeteries, churches and other places they might hold records.

If you were fortunate, you'd find confirmation of what you were told. Often the information remembered was either completely wrong or just misleading. My first run in with this was a great-great-great-great grandmother who was referred to as "A grand old lady of the South." However, I later found records clearly indicate she is from Chambersburg, Pennsylvania. Did she pretend to be from the South? Speak with a Southern accent? I'll probably never find out where the story came from.

If you were really lucky, someone else did the work for you. In the 1930's, many families wrote family history books. My grandmother (along with a few generations before her), were in a book called the Eash book, which attempted to identify all the descendants of an Amish Bishop, Jacob Eash. Another book mentions my Great-great grandfather Levi Foust and some of his ancestors. 

The LDS church, more commonly known as Mormon Church, has been collecting copies of genealogical records for a long time, and those records are available through their website and at local family history centers. Many of these records are only available on microfilm, but more and more are digitized.

The "game-changer" for genealogy was Ancestry.com. A combination of free and subscription genealogical records, all online, with a database that grows every year. While there are other online services, and most of the physical copies still exist, Ancestry's library means i can uncover more family history in a day than I used to be able to find in months.

The latest breakthrough has been DNA testing. DNA testing allows individuals to confirm existing relationships, as well as identify new branches of their family tree they weren't even aware of.

I now have a substantial family tree. I know who all of grandparents are back to my great-great-great grandparents. That's 62 ancestors in all, and a few of my lines go back as many as 16 generations. 

Genealogy is a pastime that is quite fulfilling. One of the first things I learned was that, despite our belief that people were different, they were very much the same people we are today. Some lived in multi-generational houses or next door to each other, while others moved thousands of miles away. Sometimes they lived long and happy lives, and others were sickly, and many died fairly young. Yes, they had premarital sex, they cheated on their spouses, they even divorced sometimes. When things were really tough, they might make their kids go to work, or give up their kids to be indentured or place them in a home. At least one of my ancestors even committed suicide. 

All genealogists have these “Wow!” moments, where they realize their ancestors weren't holy, or better than them. They were just people, just doing their best, and trying to live their lives, just like you and me. 

Thank you for your time and if you somehow have made it this far into this blog post, and you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me. I'm happy to help you to start your journey.

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David "Bud" Wisor is a lifelong resident of the Philadelphia tristate region. Bud and his wife Theresa have 4 children and 5 grandchildren. In addition to genealogy, he has a passion for learning new things, and enjoys trivia, karaoke and spending time with his friends and family.

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This blog post was curated and/or edited by The Ardent Reader, Esther Hofknecht Curtis, BSOL, MSM-HCA. The views expressed in this blog post are those of the guest blogger. Visit Esther's page at www.parrotcontent.com for more information.

5 Positive Things Resilient Moms Should Tell Their Children After Divorce by Antoinette Capri (Guest Blogger)

Congratulations!

You made it.
You're finally finished with the paperwork, parent classes, hard decisions and fees.
You've received your final divorce decree.

You’re a resilient mom!

Now what?
What do you do when the fight for your freedom is over?

Get clear!

Clear your head and your spirit.  Grow in your understanding and your truth. Get clear with yourself and with your children.

When I say get clear with yourself, I mean practice self-care.
Self-care that encourages you.
Self-care that inspires you.
Self-care that makes sure you’re moving FORWARD!

For example, Ask yourself questions such as:
"What do I really like to do?"
"What are my true desires?"
"Where do I want to be in the next 3 years?"
"Am I as healthy as I need to be?"
"What inspires me?"

Now… record your answers in a journal.

Afterwards, it's time to concern yourself with the stability of your children.

Resilient Moms understand that divorce can be very tricky.

It can make you feel as free as a bird and yet, as broken as shattered glass.

So, if divorce makes YOU feel like this, don't you think there is a strong possibility that your children feel the same way?

Just in case they do:

Here are 5 positive things resilient moms should tell their children after divorce:

1. It's not your fault.
Your children should know that there was nothing that they could have done better or different to change the outcome of the divorce. It was a decision made by the parents and is the responsibility of the parents, not the children.

2. Life has constant changes.
Change happens every day. Some change is good, some change is bad. The best way to handle change is by telling yourself the truth and being prepared for anything to happen. Being prepared means to practice ways to turn negative situations into positive outcomes. For example, the weather changes daily, so we keep an umbrella close… just in case it rains. That’s being prepared. So, in life, do the same thing.

3. You matter!
Your children should know how important they are to the family and to their purpose. They need to feel as though their thoughts, feelings and ideas are valued.  Show them how important they are by allowing them to share heart-felt feelings with you, while you share your unbiased feelings with them. Sharing is caring & healthy growth in your relationships.

4. You are loved!
Don’t just tell them you love them - SHOW IT!  Be generous with your affection toward your children, so they feel your love hasn't gone away with the divorce. I believe when we’re free from the pressures of the divorce, we’re also free to love in a deeper, stronger way with the children.

5. Live on Purpose
Let your children know that their life was given for a purpose and only they can learn what that purpose will be. Your divorce doesn’t change their ability to grow, love, and create new things for this world. Let them know that many changes will happen during their lifetime, but what counts is how they grow from each experience.

Overall, heart-felt communication is key to maintaining a healthy, strong & creative relationship with yourself and your children. Divorce can be either a painful experience or a life lesson. If you’re a resilient mom, you learn to make the most out of every difficult situation. Therefore, I believe, every difficult situation that is presented to you in life comes to build character, creativity and courage.

Live Resilient!!

Did you like this? Want me to answer something personally?  Feel free to send questions to ac@antoinettecapri.com or visit www.antoinettecapri.com

Antoinette Capri (also known as Ms. Nikki) is a local author, emotional resilience expert, and founder of Caprii Communications. She hosts public workshops and private sessions on resilience throughout Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

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This blog post was curated and/or edited by The Ardent Reader, Esther Hofknecht Curtis, BSOL, MSM-HCA. The views expressed in this blog post are those of the guest blogger. Visit her page at www.parrotcontent.com for more information.

Book 184: From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty (Audiobook)

Ever since I read her first book, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, I've been fascinated with Caitlin Doughty's writing style and ability to both be respectful and poke fun at aspects of death at the very same time. For many years, Doughty - herself an undertaker - has been an advocate for respectful, interactive funeral arrangements and more family involvement in the American death experience as a way for us to mourn and remain connected with our loved ones long after they have gone.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death is one of the more interesting books I've read on the topic of death. In it, Doughty details her travels to learn about death traditions and how families care for their dead. She traveled to a remote island in Indonesia, where the beloved dead are mummified and kept in the family home for years after they've expired. In Colorado, she found a group that uses a mobile funeral pyre to burn a person's body down to ashes in front of his or her loved ones. In Bolivia, she found shrines full of skulls which bless the communities in which they reside. In Japan, she found a corpse hotel which infused technology and death traditions to create posthumous experiences for both the dead and their families.

In this book, Doughty shows us the American death tradition is just as weird as any other. I've long disliked the look of an embalmed body, so I've opted for cremation when my time comes. In fact, I even have a plan that both my kids know by heart: I want them to use whatever money I have to take a trip together and to scatter my in a beautiful part of the world I've never visited. (A little pinch will do - they don't have to fly an entire urn out to Africa and dump it.) Until I read Doughty's books I didn't realized I had an option as to how I'll be cremated. I could be burned on a funeral pyre or the kids could push the button to start the cremation process. There's something to be said for closure and being part of the final arrangements. It's about letting go in a way that's respectful, intimate, and personal.

I hope you'll pick up this book (read Smoke Gets in Your Eyes first) and love it as much as I did. Your skin might crawl a bit, but you'll learn a lot, too. Buy it here. 

Book 183: The Doll Funeral by Kate Hamer (Review requested by Faber&Faber)

When I was asked by Kate Hamer's publicist to review an advanced copy of The Doll Funeral as part of an international book blog tour, I was psyched. I've never participated in a blog tour before, but it's brilliant publicity for Hamer, and I always try to support my fellow writers. One day I intend to publish my own book, and I hope to have the same support from my fellow bloggers.

Onto the review.

The Doll Funeral is written in two eras: the 1970s and the 1980s, and jumps back and forth between the two. It's set in England, in the Forest of Dean, which seems to me like a place that is real and not real at the same time. If it were a person, you might say the Forest has one foot in the grave.

The first story is that of Ruby, an orphan who - as the story opens - occupies her own living hell. She has an abusive foster father and a weak, enabling foster mother. When things begin to spin out of control, Ruby embarks on a journey that propels her toward her birth parents, for better or for worse. In the end, everything Ruby thought she knew about her life is turned upside down. She finally understands she is equipped with everything she needs to find her way home, which isn't what she expected, either.

It is also the story of Anna, an unwed pregnant teenager who decides to keep her child despite all her family's arguing for the contrary. She is plagued by problems of both the internal and external variety which lead to her demise. I'm only telling you this because anyone with an eye can see from the start that Anna's life is on a collision course with tragedy. And that's all I can tell you about Anna without ruining the story. 😉

The Doll Funeral was a little slow at first, but I knew Hamer was building up to something big. As soon as I realized there was a supernatural aspect to the story, I was hooked. I was invested in Ruby's fate. Shadow's every appearance piqued my curiosity. The strange characters of Crispin, Elizabeth, and Tom had me guessing about their importance to the plot of this story since they seemed to come out of nowhere. And by the way, I was confused for just about the entire book, but I knew Hamer intended to keep me that way as long as possible so that when she revealed the truth, I'd eat it up. And I did.

The Doll Funeral was a masterpiece of hidden suspense. I'm interested in reading it a second time to see what I missed the first time through. I'd definitely recommend it.

As most of my followers know, I'm more of a nonfiction gal, but I enjoyed The Doll Funeral and I look forward to reading more of Kate Hamer's stories. Follow @kate_hamer on Twitter or visit https://www.katehamer.co.uk/ to learn more about her work. You can buy The Doll Funeral on Amazon.

Great job, Kate!

❤❤❤

P.S. Here are the other bloggers slated to review The Doll Funeral in January 2018. Please visit each of them and enjoy!