Congratulations!You made it.
You're finally finished with the paperwork, parent classes, hard decisions and fees.
You've received your final divorce decree.
You’re a resilient mom!
Now what?
What do you do when the fight for your freedom is over?
Get clear!
Clear your head and your spirit. Grow in your understanding and your truth. Get clear with yourself and with your children.
When I say get clear with yourself, I mean practice self-care.
Self-care that encourages you.
Self-care that inspires you.
Self-care that makes sure you’re moving FORWARD!
For example, Ask yourself questions such as:
"What do I really like to do?"
"What are my true desires?"
"Where do I want to be in the next 3 years?"
"Am I as healthy as I need to be?"
"What inspires me?"
Now… record your answers in a journal.
Afterwards, it's time to concern yourself with the stability of your children.
Resilient Moms understand that divorce can be very tricky.
It can make you feel as free as a bird and yet, as broken as shattered glass.
So, if divorce makes YOU feel like this, don't you think there is a strong possibility that your children feel the same way?
Just in case they do:
Here are 5 positive things resilient moms should tell their children after divorce:
1. It's not your fault.
Your children should know that there was nothing that they could have done better or different to change the outcome of the divorce. It was a decision made by the parents and is the responsibility of the parents, not the children.
2. Life has constant changes.
Change happens every day. Some change is good, some change is bad. The best way to handle change is by telling yourself the truth and being prepared for anything to happen. Being prepared means to practice ways to turn negative situations into positive outcomes. For example, the weather changes daily, so we keep an umbrella close… just in case it rains. That’s being prepared. So, in life, do the same thing.
3. You matter!
Your children should know how important they are to the family and to their purpose. They need to feel as though their thoughts, feelings and ideas are valued. Show them how important they are by allowing them to share heart-felt feelings with you, while you share your unbiased feelings with them. Sharing is caring & healthy growth in your relationships.
4. You are loved!
Don’t just tell them you love them - SHOW IT! Be generous with your affection toward your children, so they feel your love hasn't gone away with the divorce. I believe when we’re free from the pressures of the divorce, we’re also free to love in a deeper, stronger way with the children.
5. Live on Purpose
Let your children know that their life was given for a purpose and only they can learn what that purpose will be. Your divorce doesn’t change their ability to grow, love, and create new things for this world. Let them know that many changes will happen during their lifetime, but what counts is how they grow from each experience.
Overall, heart-felt communication is key to maintaining a healthy, strong & creative relationship with yourself and your children. Divorce can be either a painful experience or a life lesson. If you’re a resilient mom, you learn to make the most out of every difficult situation. Therefore, I believe, every difficult situation that is presented to you in life comes to build character, creativity and courage.
Live Resilient!!
Did you like this? Want me to answer something personally? Feel free to send questions to ac@antoinettecapri.com or visit www.antoinettecapri.com
Antoinette Capri (also known as Ms. Nikki) is a local author, emotional resilience expert, and founder of Caprii Communications. She hosts public workshops and private sessions on resilience throughout Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.
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This blog post was curated and/or edited by The Ardent Reader, Esther Hofknecht Curtis, BSOL, MSM-HCA. The views expressed in this blog post are those of the guest blogger. Visit her page at www.parrotcontent.com for more information.
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