5 Positive Things Resilient Moms Should Tell Their Children After Divorce by Antoinette Capri (Guest Blogger)

Congratulations!

You made it.
You're finally finished with the paperwork, parent classes, hard decisions and fees.
You've received your final divorce decree.

You’re a resilient mom!

Now what?
What do you do when the fight for your freedom is over?

Get clear!

Clear your head and your spirit.  Grow in your understanding and your truth. Get clear with yourself and with your children.

When I say get clear with yourself, I mean practice self-care.
Self-care that encourages you.
Self-care that inspires you.
Self-care that makes sure you’re moving FORWARD!

For example, Ask yourself questions such as:
"What do I really like to do?"
"What are my true desires?"
"Where do I want to be in the next 3 years?"
"Am I as healthy as I need to be?"
"What inspires me?"

Now… record your answers in a journal.

Afterwards, it's time to concern yourself with the stability of your children.

Resilient Moms understand that divorce can be very tricky.

It can make you feel as free as a bird and yet, as broken as shattered glass.

So, if divorce makes YOU feel like this, don't you think there is a strong possibility that your children feel the same way?

Just in case they do:

Here are 5 positive things resilient moms should tell their children after divorce:

1. It's not your fault.
Your children should know that there was nothing that they could have done better or different to change the outcome of the divorce. It was a decision made by the parents and is the responsibility of the parents, not the children.

2. Life has constant changes.
Change happens every day. Some change is good, some change is bad. The best way to handle change is by telling yourself the truth and being prepared for anything to happen. Being prepared means to practice ways to turn negative situations into positive outcomes. For example, the weather changes daily, so we keep an umbrella close… just in case it rains. That’s being prepared. So, in life, do the same thing.

3. You matter!
Your children should know how important they are to the family and to their purpose. They need to feel as though their thoughts, feelings and ideas are valued.  Show them how important they are by allowing them to share heart-felt feelings with you, while you share your unbiased feelings with them. Sharing is caring & healthy growth in your relationships.

4. You are loved!
Don’t just tell them you love them - SHOW IT!  Be generous with your affection toward your children, so they feel your love hasn't gone away with the divorce. I believe when we’re free from the pressures of the divorce, we’re also free to love in a deeper, stronger way with the children.

5. Live on Purpose
Let your children know that their life was given for a purpose and only they can learn what that purpose will be. Your divorce doesn’t change their ability to grow, love, and create new things for this world. Let them know that many changes will happen during their lifetime, but what counts is how they grow from each experience.

Overall, heart-felt communication is key to maintaining a healthy, strong & creative relationship with yourself and your children. Divorce can be either a painful experience or a life lesson. If you’re a resilient mom, you learn to make the most out of every difficult situation. Therefore, I believe, every difficult situation that is presented to you in life comes to build character, creativity and courage.

Live Resilient!!

Did you like this? Want me to answer something personally?  Feel free to send questions to ac@antoinettecapri.com or visit www.antoinettecapri.com

Antoinette Capri (also known as Ms. Nikki) is a local author, emotional resilience expert, and founder of Caprii Communications. She hosts public workshops and private sessions on resilience throughout Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

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This blog post was curated and/or edited by The Ardent Reader, Esther Hofknecht Curtis, BSOL, MSM-HCA. The views expressed in this blog post are those of the guest blogger. Visit her page at www.parrotcontent.com for more information.

My Superpower: The Phoenix by Jennifer Sutter (Guest Blogger)

From the time I was very young, I always had an ability to see through the people I interacted with; to see their true selves. This is not something I have ever shared with anyone in conversation; it has always just been the way I see. 

Now this is not to say that I have never been hurt by anyone, because I have many, many times. But I’m an optimist. I like to always see the best in people. Which has left me vulnerable, but that’s fine... it has made me grow in ways I didn’t imagine.

I think I can say with some certainty that when one is hurt emotionally by another it tends to make them guarded or jaded. For me it has at times made me bitter and internally explosive. Despite that, I still always put myself out there and trust again. Foolish? Maybe, but it has actually served me well. I will try my best to explain what it is I see, but bear with me because I don’t really have a definition for it.

We all have our outer shell that is human nature; we only expose that delicate underbelly to those we really trust. But for some reason I have never had trouble meeting someone new and within minutes they are telling me their life story.

Me being the eternal student of human nature, I am always willing to listen and absorb. At some point during a conversation I am asked my opinion on the subject, which is usually, “Why did [insert name] have to hurt me like that?” Often the answer they expect is why the person did it. I often respond with the reasons why the person asking allowed it.

I don’t have to know a lot about a person’s history to reveal their nature, but when I do hear about their past or upbringing, it makes the whole picture much clearer. I am usually correct, and that is not a boast. It’s curious to me how I know things about others that they haven’t shared out loud. How can I sense the inner person? Answer: I don’t know.

In the past few years I have tried to find a label for what I do. I don’t read auras or concentrate really hard or even focus on a person. So as I was looking for answers I was naturally drawn to the law of attraction mentality.

It seems to be me. I put out some kind of vibe that attracts certain kinds of people. Now although it may seem like common sense when you read the literature on it (and it is) most people can’t understand how easy it is.

How can a whole new spiritual outlook be easy? Don’t you have to study with gurus, and chant and light candles? No, you only have to believe, and that is the hardest part. Believing in oneself is hard, and to trust that the universe will respond to you is even harder to understand.

To truly believe in something you have to cast out all doubt, all fear, and trust in something unknown. Most religious people would agree that absolutely, this is the truth, but that salvation lies in following God's rules. When things go bad, they're also the first people to to say, “God, why have you forsaken me?” Or, “Why did you let this happen?” The truth is it wasn’t God that made it happen. When you get to the root cause of the issue, it is usually that the person created their own problems. (To be fair, I am not talking about tragic events of cancer in a family or a car accident. I’m talking about everyday life happenings.)

So how does this all relate to me and my “weird power?” The truth is it doesn’t. But by changing my views, conceptions and understanding the laws of attraction, or the theory of universal abundance, I have allowed myself to understand and be more perceptive about the world and people around me. So in the example above, when people put out negative energy in thoughts or actions that is what they get back from the universe.

And in finding my inner peace I attract those that also strive for inner peace. For those who are ready to “hear,” I teach them, not with books, but by example.

That is my superpower.

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This blog post was curated and/or edited by The Ardent Reader, Esther Hofknecht Curtis, BSOL, MSM-HCA. The views expressed in this blog post are those of the guest blogger. Visit www.parrotcontent.com for more information.